Currently in Pain: Part 1

The Holy Grail.

The cup that gathered the blood of the the son of god.

Throughout the ages of time, humanity has searched far and wide for the grail. It has become more then just a simple cup, but has become a concept. A concept of success, of glory, of victory.

Even now during the modern day, where magic and might have fallen out of use. Where magic and fantastical beasts of old have all but died out. The holy grail still remains. It still lures the uneasy and the naive towards it, leading them on never ending quests where they die in a futile attempt to break free of the daily toil.

This is the story of one such soul, whose future was stolen by the grail.


I was born, like many people, at a young age and I quickly found myself living my life as every normal baby would. Screaming, crying and mostly forgetting every single thing that occurred, until suddenly one day I began to remember things. I slowly began to formulate thoughts, and words, and ideas. I became a human. I became a person. I gained a soul, a mind and through trial and error I gained a body capable of movement.

Now, all of this really is quite normal for anyone on this planet. Still, you have to think about just how mind mindbogglingly the fact is that, once I was just two cells and then through the passage of time I became something other than what I started as. I became powerful, I could create and destroy. It was then that I became of the age where I entered into a world with many others like me. Beings that were, just as lost and new as me. Beings that were also still just getting the first foot out of the door of babyhood and into the outside and freedom that was childhood.

It was then.

It was then that I fell from my peak.

It was then that my wings melted and I fell to the ground unable to move.

I was hit by an unstoppable force.

I was broken by an unstoppable force.

I was killed by an unstoppable force.

Yet, my life continued.

I was forced on my feet, and told to live once more.

I listened the best I could. I tried the best I could. I failed the best I could.

I was a hollow shell. I had lost my body that I had spent so long to gain. My soul followed slowly and what was left was my mind.

I did what I could, I learned all I could.

That all leads to now. Where suddenly, I gained my life back. It was shock to me. I still couldn’t move. My legs were dead a long time ago, but my soul, it could still fly. I could still be free as long as I tired. There were ways for me to be alive again. I was not just a cripple in a wheelchair anymore. I was a boy again. I was a child who could laugh and cry and be emotional.


They told me no. They told me that what I was doing would kill me. They couldn’t see that I had already died and the pills were what had given me life anew! They took it from me. They stole it. So… So, I snapped. After so many years of being alone, my mind could not take it when my soul left for a second time. I cracked.

They screamed at me, and I screamed back. They consoled me and I screamed back. They pitied me and I screamed back.


The light of day shone though my curtains and danced across my eyes. I blinked owlishly, as I rubbed my eye tiredly. It had been almost a month now since I first turned to the ripe old age of sixteen years old. It had been only a week since I had been switched off of my old medicine and put onto another new drug cocktail. I reached across the bed towards my bed side table and pulled my bottles of pills towards me. One red pill, one blue pill, three white pills a day keeps the doctor’s mandatory visit on the weekend and not in an a hour.

A sigh left my lips, as I pushed myself up. My legs lay still where they were, dead, like always. Like they had for the past several years. It was a short battle later that I found myself seated in my carriage. My calloused hands pushing myself from my room and into the living room. A smile on plastered on my face as I cheerily greeted the back of my mother. She smile at me and coddled me, before guiding me towards the table and placing a large plate of easily digestible food in front of me.

The smell of the meat and eggs sickened me, but the smile on my face remained solid as if it were engraved on my face. With a steady hand I grabbed my utensils and shoveled the food into my mouth. Once done, I quickly wheeled away back to my room. The voice of my mother following me as I left. I changed my clothes quickly, into that of my school’s uniform. Wheeling myself out once more, that same smile still glued on to my face, I waved goodbye to my mother and exited my house.

My school was north of my house and would only take me five minutes to reach by myself. The smile that had not left my face finally seeped off and my expression returned to showing what I was. Dead. There was just no point.


If I only knew what was to come.


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