Journal 0018

Monday 6:30pm

Heading downtown again tonight. I should probably stop by campus first and actually eat something, though it’s not like I really have an appetite. I also need to make a trip to convenience store to pick up a pack of smokes and some cash for tonight. I really hope that I’m not blowing through money too quickly. Heading out now, will come back to this in time.

Tuesday 11:30am

Last night was fun, just got a chance to drink and forget about everything for that night. Pretty much just let myself make a fool of myself in front of everyone because I just really could not care enough. Let’s just go through with a quick run through of the night.

Went to pick up a pack of smokes as well as some coffee after I stopped writing last night. Then got on the bus and headed to my friend’s place in order to do some predrinking before heading downtown. On the bus I ended up sitting next to one of my first year roommate’s friend, who also happens to share a major with my ex-partner. We awkwardly talked for the bus ride, and I tried my best to seem entertaining and okay. I just have this urge to act like I’m doing better than I actually am if I think it’ll get to my ex-partner. I want them to regret the breakup so badly. But, let’s not focus on how petty I am.

I ended up arriving at the same time as my mate who was joining us. We ended up playing a couple of drinking games and shooting the shit until around ten. One of my friend’s roommates was drinking with us but didn’t end up joining us downtown as they had work first thing in the morning today. Anyways, we loaded onto the bus and headed downtown. It was pretty dead when we first arrived but the club quickly filled up. It got really crowed, really quickly, and wow, people watching at a dive bar/club is entertaining as fuck.

I pretty much spent most of my time just watching the same few guys get shot down again and again and again, but they kept trying. I don’t understand, I could not, would not, be able to do that. Still, that’s besides the real point, what’s more interesting is how my friend and her roommate were swarmed by dudes. Like, I can’t fathom how quickly dudes would just flock towards them.

I’ve lost my train of thought.

I can’t stop thinking about them. I just miss them a lot.

Goddamit. What am I supposed to do?

It’s fine.


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