Journal 0024

So I’ve been drinking with my residence friend group. 

Not that they’re my friends current in residence but they’re the friend group I built though residence. 

My ex partner didn’t come. I’m pretty sure it’s because not only am I here, bit also that they drunk with a majority of these people also night. 

They’ve made an effort to not tall about it, but the few remarks they’ve made it makes it obviously clear. 

I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m just so done with this all. I don’t know, I’m very drunk and have go right now. Two of my friends are playing beer pong right now, while the other two are playing Super Mario World. 

They’re having fun. But I just don’t know. Deep down I just want my ex partner to have a bad time. I want them to be having a terrible time right now, but for I know that they at least have someone right now. 

Not even a week after our breakup they were making out with this guy and now they’ve moved up. I’m nothing. I was nothing to them. 

I hate myself. 

I want to kill myself. 

At least then I would stop feeling. 

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