Journal 0032

Happy New Year!

Well it just ticked over midnight where I am on New Year’s Eve, so it’s not really the new year yet. It will be in just less than two dozen hours, so not too much time till I’ll need to fall apart at the seams. I’m still tired of this all, I’m just so tired.

I want to be done with things.

I’m heading back to Guelph tomorrow. I am. I really don’t care what my parents say, it’s going to happen. No matter what, they’re going to help me head back – I know them, but I just feel bad.

This has been a rough December. I want a drink, and I want a smoke. I want to smoke so badly.

I bought a pack of smokes when I went out yesterday to my friends place. I smoked two of them, and now I really need more.

I went ahead and traded numbers with a girl I’ve been talking to on Tinder. They seem cool, shy and nerdy- but texting them is like pulling teeth. It’s a very one sided, me asking questions and making comments and them giving short replies.

They’ve been initiating conversation though, so it’s not like- I’m boring? I think? I don’t really know at this point, again I’m just so tired of this all.

Meh, been spending a lot of money on games recently, I guess it’s that time of year and I feel that I can blow through cash. Mergh. Whatever.

Gah, I’m in a bad mood, I need nicotine.

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