Journal 0034

A real journal post about what’s been going in my life- something I haven’t done in a while now that I think about it. Well, what’s been going on…?

I start work tomorrow, going to be heading into the office at the bright and early hour of eight and I’m quite concerned about if I’m going to be able to wake up for that. Fingers crossed that I’m not late for my first day, as that would be a terrible impression to make.

Aside from that… uh- I went on a tinder date last week with the girl that I’ve been chatting with for a while. It went… well I think? Haha, not terribly sure- but she seemed cool. I didn’t really feel… a connection there, but I’m probably going to ask them out again because I’m terrified of being alone. I don’t think it’ll turn into anything. I’m- I’m not ready for anything yet. I need to be okay with being alone first before I date someone for real again. I don’t trust myself in jumping to another relationship. I’ve once again realized how fragile my mental scape is, and I need to work to fix this before I do anything else.

I’m petty, I’m mean, I’m really an awful person. I need to work on myself. I really do. That’s what this all is a chance for really, it’s a chance for me to become a better person. Which I will, I mean I’m already starting at fucking rock bottom, so the only way to go is up eh?

I’m a terrible terrible person. I’m going to go have a smoke and then comeback to this.

And back-

There hasn’t really been much else. I’ve been hanging out with my roommates a lot (as well, I actually know my current roommates) and it’s been fun. It’s nice to be living with people I consider friends again.

Yeah, nothing really else to say.

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